Husband says he can’t leave his mistress he’s still healing?
We’ve been married for 11 yrs (unhappily since my husbands always been distant and unemotional) I discovered that when I was pregnant with our third child my husband started having an affair which i didn’t know about I received an anonymous phone call from someone telling me I should know, when i confronted my husband he didn’t deny it. But wanted to know who told me and whether it was a man’s voice or woman’s (no remorse) Well I kicked him out of the home since he told me that he didn’t want to work out our marriage infact he said he’s been wanting out for years. Well three months later with the intent of trying to reconcile and work things out I asked him if he would leave his mistress he told me that he can’t yet because he’s still healing….. what does that mean? why is he making himself seem like the victim. Im the one betrayed, lied too, and hurt. So I decided at that moment that i was going to file for divorce no more waiting on him to decide between me or her. I think he has a personality disorder but not sure, he won’t get help he says he knows he needs to see a psychiatrist but he won’t do it, infact he’s always been disagnosed for depression but i think it’s deeper than that. Im concerned for the safety of my children if he does have a personality disorder.
Q&A from Yahoo! Answers
Trader Will
December 12th, 2011 at 5:36 pm #
Good thing that feminist was around to rat our your husband. I mean, she was doing it because you should know, not cause she’s a wrench. And it for sure wouldn’t be the female spreading her legs for hubby, so don’t worry about that.
Guinevere
December 12th, 2011 at 6:01 pm #
Yuck. What an awful situation. This guy sounds like a complete jerk with no regard whatsoever for anybody else. You’re right in filing for a divorce and washing your hands of that selfish prick. Personality Disorder or no, he’s no good and you deserve MUCH better. If you’re scared for your and your family’s safety, slap a restraining order on him while you’re filing the divorce paperwork.
Maybe, even though it feels messy and horrible right now, this is all for the best. This could be a chance for you to regain freedom and to live life the way YOU want to: maybe develop a skill or work on a hobby, start a new career, or travel. This is an excellent opportunity to reinvent yourself the way you envision your future – a new year, a new single status, and a new lease on life. Try to stay positive, and most importantly, stay away from this no good creep.
Dragonfly2829
December 12th, 2011 at 6:57 pm #
it sounds like he has a very common personality disorder called ASSHOLE!
you deserve better!
beautiful~hazel~eyes
December 12th, 2011 at 7:28 pm #
He is a cheater not a person with a personality disorder. Divorce him, get full custody of the kids and get as much child and spousal support as you can!
Dede7007
December 12th, 2011 at 7:54 pm #
He doesn’t want to leave her yet.That’s the reason he’s telling you he’s still “healing”. I know, I’ve heard it also. It’s a horrible thing to deal with, ESPECIALLY with young kids. If you divorce, you can do so on grounds of adultery in some states. I’m sorry you have to go through this.
Widowed Mistress
December 12th, 2011 at 8:15 pm #
It sounds like you don’t want to take any blame for you bad marriage. Sure he shouldn’t have cheated, should have communicated…but would he have been welcomed with loving ears? It sounds as if he was really unhappy, but tried to stay with you because it was the right thing to do. It also sounds as if he checked out years ago…one has to wonder why?
I don’t know why you waited for him since you said, ” he told me that he didn’t want to work out our marriage in fact he said he’s been wanting out for years”
And did you ask him what he was healing from? I’m sure your marriage was as hard on him as his infidelity has been on you and he is just trying to figure things out before rushing into anything he might regret.
And actually, it sounds more like you are playing the victim, not him.
So, learn from your lessons, be happy you are out of a bad marriage and get on with finding new happiness.
Good luck!